I am now three weeks into my 27th year. I can't say that my birthday was the funnest day of the year for me--in fact, this was the first of my birthdays I was not looking forward to. I kind of felt more like going to a funeral rather then celebrating! But (thankfully) I have a lot of friends here and they all made it worth it.

This year I decided to start a tradition of celebrating the day before my birthday. I wanted to celebrate a year full of learning and experience and give it a good "going away" party before it was gone forever. Maybe it's because I'm sentimental. Maybe it's because I don't like thinking about the future.

So on May 31 I spent my last day with 25. We laughed, played, ate, relaxed and had a great time together. The highlights include: Waffles, Ultimate Frisbee, lunch at the Atlas, ice cream at the mall, an amazing performance of Handel's "Israel in Egypt" (featuring Jeremy Starr and myself), and National Treasure II on a big cool projector screen. It was a fun day.

The next day I woke up with two questions in my mind: "How is it possible that I am already 26 years old and I don't have any children?" followed by, "how is it possible that I am only 26 years old and nearly finished with my doctorate degree?"

I was never one of those girls who had long-term education and career plans for myself. When I was a freshman at BYU I remember saying very matter-of-factly, "I'm not getting married until I'm 26!" But deep down I knew that what I really wanted was to get married and have a family. My education and career were second to that wish, and I was ready to give both away if I had to chose between them and a family. Well, where did that thinking land me? Eight years later, single, three degrees, and a teaching job at a university.

So what happened? Did I miss the marriage boat while I was locked up in the practice room? Did I spend too much time studying and not enough time flirting? My parents might think so. But I've been doing my fair share of socializing over the past eight or so years. Off hand I can count at least a dozen and a half guys who I've dated. Anyone who's been a roommate of mine knows that although I may not be completely boy crazy, I don't sit around and let the other girls get all the attention. So is there something wrong with the guys? Is there something wrong with me? Neither, I hope.

I have completely no idea why my life has turned out the way it has. But I am pretty sure about a few things I've learned along the way.

Friendship: I've made lots and lots of friends over the last eight years and a few really close ones. I've learned from all of them, grown from serving them, and grown from being served by them.

Education: When I graduated from BYU I realized that I didn't really know anything. When I started making my way through grad school I was mad at myself for not remembering all the things I had learned up to that point. I still regret it, but I have since realized that there are a lot of things I do remember from my college years. I remember my friends--experiences I had with them, how they inspired me to change, and helped me laugh a lot and be happy. I remember my teachers, the ones I disliked and the ones I adored. I learned from them not just the facts and how to think critically, but how to live and teach (and how not to live or teach) and explore and always look for new things to learn. I learned how to be passionate and dedicated to a subject that interests me. In the last few years I have learned that I can stretch myself farther than I ever thought possible. I can study for 10 hours with out a break or practice for 8 hours a day. I can get by on 5 (or less) hours of sleep a night if I have to. I can write papers and do presentations and give recitals.

Church: I'm not going to say much about this but I will say I've learned that being a member of my church and believing in the gospel it teaches has been the main source of intellectual, spiritual, emotional, and social growth in my life. In Iowa City I have a fun, loving, and supportive family away from home thanks to the the church. And that has made all the difference in my life during the past eight years.

Family: I've learned that my family is probably the most important thing to me. Not because I am told that it should be, but because I feel a strong natural inclination toward it. They support me in everything I do--yes I know, that's a normal role for families to play--but what really blows my mind is that no matter what I do they still love me! And no matter what they do I still love them. I haven't done any really foolish or hurtful things but I have done some pretty crazy things, and my family trusts me to know what I'm doing and they always go along with it.

So--would I have had all these great experiences if I had gotten married at the "normal" younger age? Maybe, but probably not. Of course I am not saying that had I been married I would not have had good experiences. But all the same I would not give them away for anything. I've learned some very important things about myself and had some intense growing experiences that I am convinced had to be done on my own.

And now for a confession. I have a secret fascination with blogs. I am not as interested in writing my own blog as I am in reading all of yours and anyone else's who I barely know. If you are secretly reading my blog and thinking that I will never know, that's ok because I am probably doing the same with yours. Just recently I realized that this was sort of becoming and addiction for me so I went through my Google Reader and unsubscribed to all but a few belonging to my close friends and family.

But that is beside the point. As I'm thinking about how to bring this long-winded post to an end, I realize that my reason in writing it was probably in response to a theme I commonly read among my friends' blogs. Over and over again I see pictures and read about how cute your kids are and all the fun things you do together as a family, and how you are "so blessed to have such a wonderful husband and children". It can be pretty annoying sometimes but to be perfectly honest I am a little jealous. But only a little. The rebel inside of me wanted this post to show off all of the cool things I've done and what a cool person I've become on my own, with out a husband! But I really know that I'm not any better or worse than anyone else, and I am going to make the best of my life whether it holds more years of being single or the arrival of many children.

I have no idea if I've done any real good in the world or if I've influenced anyone's life for the better. But I do know that a lot of good has been done in my life and a lot of people have influenced me for the better. For whatever reason my life has unexpectedly turned out the way it has, I am pretty sure that it was meant to be this way and I am happy.

And now for some birthday pics: