hold your breath

I wrote this back in July, but for some reason I didn't post it. Maybe I was embarrassed. Hmm... well, here ya go.

Today I made my first cd purchase in over two years. I hate buying cd's... I usually acquire my music electronically. I only buy the cd's of the artists I truly honestly love, who have left a deep impression on me in some way. This one was "For Emma, Forever Ago" by the band Bon Iver.

I have been listening to Bon Iver since the beginning of April, right before I took my comprehensive exams. It was one of the most stressful times of my life... I am still recovering. The band did a show in Iowa City the first weekend in April and even though I couldn't afford the time off from studying I went. It was amazing. There's something about this music that brings my innermost feelings and memories and convictions to the surface. It's like some sort of strange drug, I can't get enough of it. So far I have listened to it four complete times in a row without stopping. I would listen to it more but it is 2:25 in the morning and I have a lunch date at 11:30 with Himie Voxman.

But seriously, I can't stop listening to this. It's better than food, better than sleep, better than nice old people.

Here is a video of "Skinny Love" ... in case you wanted to listen a bit.

Dear Everyone,

I want you all to watch this YouTube video.

And discuss it with me.

I'm so proud of us.

There are two types of people in this world...

Those who love change, and those who don't.
I loooooooove it.

I know that when I left home I told you all that I would be back to visit soon. Well I've changed my mind. You're all coming HERE to visit ME.

Here is why I love Atlanta so far:

All my favorite places are literally around the corner and down the street from where I live!!
Whole Foods--It's HUGE!!! This store has every kind of food I like, including all the delicious foods I haven't even tasted yet!


World Peace Cafe: This is one of two vegetarian restaurants down the street from my house. I had a bowl of soup there the other night and it was de-licious!


Also there is Good Will, the Temple, the Church (yeah, that's right. I only have to drive 4 minutes to get to the temple) and the train station. I get to ride the train to work! I feel like a real commuter. It takes me about one hour from the time I leave my house to get to my office. Riding the train is better than driving because I don't have to deal with the stress of city traffic, don't get stuck in rush hour traffic, don't have to pay the toll, don't have to pay for parking AND I don't have to waste gas in my car! I just get to relax and read a book.

And oh yeah... I have an OFFICE!!! It's on the 10th floor of the music building. And that's not all guess what is in my office....


A baby grand piano! yes yes yes it is all mine (well, I do share with the saxophone professor. But I don't think she'll be around much because she only have a few students.) Check out my view:

This week I have been working on a recording project with the Atlanta Chamber Winds. Every day I walk through Woodruff park to get to the recital hall where we are recording. It is full of homeless people who sit or stand and do nothing all day! My colleagues complain about it but I like the homeless people. Everyone tells me its safe as long as I don't walk around down town after dark. So don't worry mom and dad!

The Georgia State campus is in a great location down town, with lots of cool eating places all around. So far my favorite is this place:


Those of you from Iowa City: this place kicks Oasis Falafel in the BUM!! It is sooo good, the best falafel pitas I've tasted thus far in my life.

One of my favorite things is the cute little house I live in. We live in the middle of a big city, but our house is surrounded by a JUNGLE! I can't even see through the trees in my back yard. My roommates are so cool! I will write more about them soon.

The ward is really great. I haven't met everyone yet, because there are 200 people in it!! Can you believe that? I'm so excited to have this many new friends. Oh and did I mention that church doesn't start until 1:30? For the first time in like six years I finally get to sleep in on Sundays!

Oh and one more thing--I am a minority here! Everywhere I go there are nothing but black people. Pretty cool huh? Our ward is actually mostly white, and most of the faculty at GSU are white but other than that everywhere I go I feel like a minority. It is great.

I payed $7.05 to make this post

So....... I am in big, beautiful, hot Atlanta! I know you have all been waiting anxiously for an update but my house will not have internet until tomorrow at the earliest... so I have to make this a quick one. I am at a little cafe right now and can only stay a few more minutes (I have been trying to find a place with WiFi since yesterday and finally by word of mouth made it here. You would think in a big city it would be easier!!!)

Anywho... I live in a little house about 20 minutes north of the city. So far I have two cute roommates (I hope they don't mind I stole these pics from Facebook):

Racheland Lina

We will be getting two more roommates in the next few weeks and I'm sure they too will be just as awesome and cute.

Our house is shaded by some huge TALL trees and our backyard is a jungle. When I post the pictures you won't even believe that it's in the middle of a big city!!

Music of the Ages

A year ago I completed a small ethnographic study of local amateur music in eastern Iowa. My research and involvement in the project led me to ask the question, “What inspires amateur musicians to love their music so much?” My status as an amateur folk musician and professionally trained Euro-classical musician placed me in a situation where I was able to study and pay careful attention to what made amateur music different from professionally performed music, and to what role it plays in society and in the life of the individual. At the end of my project, I concluded that the motivation of professional musicians and amateur musicians was different. Amateur musicians create music for the pure love and enjoyment of the experience. This realization was in stark contrast to my own experience as a musician professionally trained in the Euro-classical tradition, where music is made to be performed and in cases to earn money, status, and/or recognition.

Today I ask, what is the role of local amateur music in a society that champions professionalism?

Almost one year after the completion of my project I found myself again involved with the community orchestra that I had participated with in the study. At the start of the first rehearsal, without realizing it, I found myself a bit frustrated--the music sounded terrible and the musicians were bad. I quickly recognized the pessimistic attitude building up inside me and started looking into the faces of the people playing the music. They weren’t faces of people concentrating on playing perfectly who were afraid of making mistakes. They showed something entirely different. I saw the faces of children playing together and having fun. They weren’t worried about anything. They were enjoying themselves--something that I was never fully able to do, especially not in a more professional orchestral setting. I was reminded of the story told by Charles Ives, about a young man whose musical sense had been “limited” by intensive study at the Boston Conservatory. The young man commented on the bad singing of one of his father’s friends. To this his father replied, “Look into his face and hear the music of the ages. Don’t pay too much attention to the sounds—for if you do, you may miss the music.” It wasn’t until that moment when I understood the meaning of this quote. The music doesn’t come from notes played beautifully and in tune; it is rooted in something much deeper.

Throughout the past year I have participated in other settings of amateur music making. In September I was put in contact with a small group of woodwind players at the Iowa City Senior Center who were looking for a bassoonist to play in their woodwind quartet. I agreed to “help them out”. I attended the first rehearsal expecting to provide practice and performance suggestions along with the addition of my bassoon playing. My actual experience (which continues to this day) has been quite the contrary. As I meekly add my contribution to the music I sit, listen, and watch these seniors as they enjoy chatting with one another about their lives and their families in between songs. I hear exclamations like “that’s such a fun piece to play!” and “I’m going to need a rest after that chop-buster.” I have yet to hear complaining (or even recognition of) their missed and out-of-tune notes. they are not expecting me to give them any councel or advice for improvement. They only want me to enjoy playing music with them.

This spring I completed a three-year assistantship with the University of Iowa Arts Share program. A couple of years ago I started Service Learning, a program that allows faculty and students from the School of Music perform at underserved facilities in Iowa City such as hospitals, retirement communities, and other assisted living centers. These performances are completely volunteer. I have advertised the program to students and faculty as being an opportunity to do a practice-performance of one’s recital before the actual recital. But my real motivation behind creating the program was to bring musical enrichment to people who are unable to leave their residences to experience it. It has been interesting for me to witness professionally trained musicians (including myself) have the experience of performing for no monetary or scholastic reward. In almost every case, the musicians have thanked me whole-heartedly for the opportunity to perform for such “wonderful” “kind” and “loving” people and everyone who has participated in the program has expressed interest in continuing their involvement. While these professionally trained musicians are not quite receiving an amateur experience, I believe the fact that they are performing for no monetary or scholastic reward requires them reach out of themselves and draw their motivation from something they may not have experienced since they first started learning their instrument.

In my experience most amateur musicians salute the ensembles and individuals who are their professional equivalents. They pay money and make considerable efforts to see and hear these musicians perform. I have rarely encountered amateur musicians who feel their music is demeaned by the Euro-classical tradition of professionalism. In some cases there do arise feelings of inferiority, but usually the amateurs are quite content with their status as being non-professional, even though some may be quite as skilled as those who perform for money. These musicians know that they are doing it for fun and they would like to keep it that way. It is not much different from someone who does math for a living and someone who does it for fun. This is usually the case unless and until a musician of amateur stature decides that he or she would like to make the transition to becoming a professional musician. In this respect the worlds of professional and amateur musicians in the Euro-classical tradition are separate and distinct.

My friends in the community orchestra gathered together to play music with one another and even though some were quite skilled and others were only beginners, these and other small communities of amateur musicians are usually warm and inviting to their members (with out respect to ability level) and enjoy coming together to build relationships and share with one another. The community orchestra musicians challenge themselves intellectually and artistically and enjoy having a break from their daily struggles. They enjoy socializing and sharing musical experiences with one another, and in doing this, build and strengthen their micro-community and relationships with one another. The musicians at the Iowa City Senior Center enjoy these same joys and challenges but on a much more intimate level. They have in a sense created a small familial unit—each person having his or her individual place and contributing to the group in a unique way. The musicians who participate in my Service Learning program share their beautiful music with good-hearted audience members and learn that even they can participate in music purely for the love and experience of making it.

A year ago my argument was that the amateur musicians I learned from participated in music for the love of doing it. I reemphasize that statement and add to it that these musicians and ensembles are essential to the upholding of social and family-like constructs in a society. By enjoying the experience of music rather than the end product, they succeed in building and strengthening family and community relationships in an intense, subjective, human practice.

My study and experience with amateur Euro-classical music has helped me come closer to a realization and understanding of the true essence of music. I have found immense pleasure in experiencing music with amateur musicians and hope to someday be able attain the love of an amateur in my own professional setting.

Does this mean I have to be grown up now?

One of my friends just told me he saw me on the GSU faculty directory and what do you know, he was right. Aaah! I'm kind of a little nervous... I have to be a professor in a few weeks...!!